***There is a little known but long standing stipulation in Iowa that requires all candidates to form their own caucus while all citizen votes are tallied. Crooked Copy was given exclusive coverage of the event. The following happened in Des Moines, Iowa at 8:00 pm on January Third.***
***Door opens and Rick Perry enters in a huff***
Mitt Romney: That’s alright, I made you some cookies, chocolate chip, your favorite flavor. In fact I made everyone their favorite cookies. You can have as many as you want. I bought them for you. You may have as many as you want…..
Newt Gingrich: These cookies are fundamentally delicious. I’ll take a few more if you don’t mind.
Mitt Romney: Well, this is embarrassing. I meant everyone but you Newt, not because I don’t like you, it’s…just…. ***looks at Newt’s stomach***…you know…..
Newt Gingrich: That’s alright. Let’s do roll call because Calista and I have a book signing and movie screening this afternoon.
Ron Paul: Don’t you mean campaign stop.
Newt Gingrich: ……..yes……
Newt Gingrich: Okay let’s begin. Michelle Bachmann
Michele Bachmann: Present. Can we all agree that I’m the only conservative in this race?
Newt Gingrich: Spare me, I was a conservative since you were hosting PG movie nights in your college dorm.
Michele Bachmann: Remind me Newt, was that while you were having your second or third affair?