Aronofsky’s Wide World of Sports Flicks

Darren Aronofsky first came into the popular conscious with his movie Requiem for a Dream, a haunting tale about addiction. Of course, if you’re like us, the most frightening thing about that movie is that Marlon Wayans could have actually had a legitimate career. Good God what happened.

I’m a surprisingly good actor… that’s why I got to play the baby.

After a detour with the overindulgent mess The Fountain, Aronofsky’s last two movies have instead focused on athletes. In 2008 he revitalized Mickey Rourke’s career with The Wrestler and in late 2010 he put a subversive twist on the ballet with Black Swan.

Natalie Portman really went all out training to become a dancer in time for Black Swan

With a couple of movies about athletes under his belt (yes we think ballerinas are athletes, some little boys didn’t get to play football) we at Crooked Copy think Aronofsky would be a perfect choice to remake some classic sports movies. Of course, he’d have to put his unique dark twist onto them, but we see them going something like this.

Field of Dreams

Kevin Costner plays an Iowa farmer who is about to have his farm repossessed by the bank if he can’t start making his mortgage payments on time. Desperate and running out of options he starts cooking meth in his basement. After the first few batches don’t turn out so well he goes on a hunt to find the one man that can help him: James Earl Jones. Jones, a recovering meth addict himself, is at first wary of Costner’s proposal, but soon warms up to the idea after spending a few days with Costner talking baseball nonstop. I mean nonstop, Costner brings some of the meth that turned out all right with him and they get BLOWN. This would probably be best done in a montage. When Jones is back on the farm with Costner they really get cooking, quite literally. Tweaked out of his mind one night, Costner walks into the corn field and for some reason erects a baseball diamond. He mutters to his wife about seeing famous ballplayers on the diamond, but all his wife sees are toothless tweakers running around the bases.

I can play ball real good