Re-Elect RNC’s Michael. It’s a Steele

Yes.

He had us at, “I walk in to a room and some white people are scared of me.”

Racial politics. Old school. That’s how we like it– a man willing to keep us on our toes, a leader who can use the opponent’s tactics. The warm-up lap before the race.

How can we lose this visionary, this monolith, this Swedish Chef of a man in times like these?

In an age of personal politics, we need our own star, a face for the movement. After all, the country is not big enough for one man, is it? So why should the party be? Let the President revel in his cameos on Mythbusters and Sports Center. Let him open for Styx and host his puppet shows.

We can do that. We can send Michael Steele, this enlightening force, out to the masses. Couric, Wallace, Rose, let them meet their match. The American people want big egos? We have one of the best in house. This is no time to change horses.

We have a Lincoln Republican, a luminary of the 1850’s, at our helm. Don’t worry what that means. Confuse and confound; we have them right where we want them.

Steele during a recent appearance on Top Chef

What is a modern Republican? Pay no attention to the frustrated Americans in the streets. Pay attention to Mr. Steele. He doesn’t like Limbaugh. He is pro-choice. Focus on him. The old bait-and-switch, that will keep them coming.

We need a figurehead who can temper expectations, someone who has the guts to tell people we cannot possibly win. Steele did that and he was brilliant. Tell the world we can’t take back the house, and wait for them like a snake in the grass.

The RNC is hemorrhaging money? Michael Steele doesn’t think so! Even if it were, we can’t let the fat cat donors get in the way of this train. This is now the party of the people. Populism is the new intellectualism. Enough of these CEOs, entrepreneurs, and hard working Americans; they have taken over the movement. We are a more gentle party: compassionate conservatives. We can win this by widening our tent.

Crooked Copy is proud to endorse Michael Steele. He is the man who can bring change we can believe in. We are going to reach new heights in 2012. We can do this. Yes we can.

Ty Olson is an author, social critic, and seventh level Dungeon Master. He never liked Richard Nixon and thinks Barney Frank is a blowhard. He lives in San Diego, California
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